


all i think about is you

by moonbeamlex



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Brian has terrible timing, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, brief mention of someone dealing with the death of a soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 08:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20690564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonbeamlex/pseuds/moonbeamlex
Summary: You were supposed to get your soulmate mark when you hit puberty. That was just how biology worked. But Pat didn’t.





	all i think about is you

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in three hours, on my cell phone, while at work. there are probably things wrong and for that i am only a little sorry. 
> 
> brief mentions of someone having their soulmate die. shouldn’t have any other triggers as far as i can tell.
> 
> s/o to the discord for not letting me share because they’re too fragile even though it’s a HAPPY STORY DAMMIT. love you guys. title from doom days by bastille. just ‘cause.

You were supposed to get your soulmate mark when you hit puberty. That was just how biology worked. You reached the age where you started to get awkward same-gender-only classes about the Changes Your Body were going through and you got a mark that would let you know who your soulmate was.

It was romantic and sappy and led to a lot of dramatic moments in high school cafeterias. Pat had been just as excited as everyone else when he was a freshman, looking forward to finding out who he’d spend his life with. Sure, a lot of people didn’t actually find their soulmates until college, until they got away from their hometown and explored the world, but the idea that it could be anyone…

Pat had secretly been hoping it’d be the cute girl in his English class who talked too much when Edgar Allan Poe got brought up. When she ended up moving away junior year, and Pat still didn’t have a mark, his new object of affection became his fresh out of college biology teacher who had his mark but hadn’t found his perfect match yet.

But nothing happened. Not just with the teacher, which, yeah, looking back Pat was grateful the dude hadn’t been a creep willing to take advantage of a student with a crush but… with anyone. Pat never got a mark. He definitely hit every other sign of puberty he could think of. He shot up in height basically overnight his sophomore year. His voice cracked and broke and deepened. He had been proud to compare his awkward attempts at facial hair with the other boys in his grade.

And yet.

It wasn’t unheard of, to not get a mark. In fact, it happened more than you’d think. A lot of people were just...born without a soulmate it seemed. Of course the media never wanted to focus on those stories. There would be a movie, every once in awhile, that starred some poor woman who never got her mark but it usually focused on her accidentally adopting six kids and nine dogs and realizing romance had never really been for her anyway.

Which, yeah, sure, that was definitely true of some people. Simone didn’t have a mark, and she had admitted to Pat one night over beers that she was thankful for that. “The idea of getting tied down to one person, of having to worry about being enough for them when I’ve never really wanted that whole life...it used to keep me up as a kid. I had nightmares about weddings,” she had said, laughing loudly at her own memories. “Thank fuck the universe knew me well enough to let me dodge that bullet.” 

But Pat wasn’t like that. He had wanted the romance. Wanted the security that came with knowing someone was your perfect match, that no matter what you did or how fucked up you were, you were still enough. Good enough, perfect enough, someone’s ride or die. That the universe had predetermined you could not fail. 

He tried other relationships. He had read the support blogs, the self help books. He knew that plenty of people could find happy and healthy and fulfilling relationships without a mark or blessing from the stars. He had hoped that could be him. He tried his best, had gone all in. It was the most he’d worked at anything in his life, and watching it fall through anyway…

It had spooked Pat enough to decide maybe he just wasn’t meant for that. The universe had let him try his hand, and he had lost it all on a stupid bet. 

But it was fine. In the end, Pat liked his life. He loved his job, he was friends with his coworkers, he went home every night to Charlie curled up on his bed and craving his attention. He had hit thirty, and thirty-one, and even thirty-two, and life had kept going despite him being alone. 

There had been times he had been interested, had felt something stirring in a part of his life he had wanted to completely lock down and forget about, but he never let anything come from them. Sure, his heart maybe beat out of time when Brian let a hand linger on his arm, looked at him too long, but Pat was good at suppressing that.

Besides. Brian… well, there were some things worse than never getting a soul mark at all. Pat had never asked what had happened, what made the mark on Brian’s collarbone fade and scar. He knew enough to get the gist, and the way Jonah and Laura still clung to Brian as if he were fragile or a moment away from floating into space filled in the rest of what he needed to know. 

Brian’s broken heart wasn’t something Pat felt like he could touch, could hold and protect, even when Brian was all smiles and bright laughs and flirtatious jokes and shiny nails. Pat had burned someone he once loved, had let down the person he wanted most to uphold, he wasn’t going to risk it again. Not with Brian. Brian deserved better than what Pat had to offer. Brian had met his perfect match and lost them, Pat would never be a good enough substitute. 

There was no way in hell he would ever be good enough for Brian, and he had accepted that.

Which was why he was ready to deal with everything swirling in his chest when Brian shoved Pat into an empty conference room and started tugging his own shirt off. “Hey Brian,” Pat asked, trying to keep his voice casual. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

“I swear this isn’t as weird as it looks,” Brian said, voice muffled from where he had gotten himself trapped in the shirt. “Hey, uh, can I have a little help?” 

Pat squeezed his eyes together quickly, trying to steady himself and prepare for whatever Brian was getting ready to throw at him, before he took a step forward into Brian’s space and started detangling him from the sweater he was wearing. When Brian’s face emerged from the fabric again, his eyes were borderline manic. “Hi,” he breathed out, smiling up at Pat. 

Pat fought the urge to press even closer into Brian’s space, and instead gave him a small, wan smile. “Hi, kid. What in the world are you doing?”

As if suddenly remembering that Brian had pulled pat into a situation here, Brian was suddenly back to business. “Oh, yeah!” he exclaimed, tossing his abandoned sweater onto the back of one of the conference chairs. “Look at this.” He turned around, facing the wall opposite Pat, so Pat was staring at his back. 

He immediately averted his eyes. “What exactly am I supposed to be looking at?” he asked, studying the carpeted floor beneath him intently. 

“The mark, Pat. I have a mark on my back. I don’t remember that mark being there, I didn’t even notice it until Jonah pointed it out.” Pat finally lifted his eyes from the ground and. Huh. Brian was right. There was a small patch on the back of his shoulder blade, a spot Pat had actually thought about quite often. It was where Pat’s hand tended to rest when he let his guard down and let himself touch Brian instead of shrink in on himself. 

“Wow,” Pat said, taking a step closer to study it. It looked almost like a—

“Jonah freaked out when he saw it. He was sure it was cancer or something, you know how protective he is. So I had to skip work yesterday to go to the doctor—“ and oh, that’s where he had been yesterday, Pat had kept feeling his eyes drawn to Brian’s desk only to feel the same wave of disappointment each time it was empty, “—but the doctor said. The doctor said there’s nothing wrong with me it’s just. It’s another soul mark, Pat. I got another one.”

And isn’t that the way of the universe. Pat felt like the air had been kicked out of him, as if he was going to keep struggling to breathe forever. He couldn’t even get one, and Brian. Brian, he got two. Of course. 

And then the guilt kicked in. Brian didn’t deserve Pat’s bitterness, his jealousy, the way he could already feel a pit forming in his stomach at the idea of Brian’s bright smile turned on some shadow in the shape of a soulmate. 

“Oh,” Pat said, trying to put excitement in his voice. He was pretty sure he failed, but Brian still wasn’t facing him, so he couldn’t see the look on Brian’s face as he spoke. “Bri, that’s great. Honestly. I’m happy for you.”

Brian didn’t say anything in response, but turned around to face Pat again. There was something in his eyes, the mania of earlier paired with...thoughtfulness. “Pat Gill,” he said, his voice stern, “take off your shirt.”

Pat was shocked, yet again. “Excuse me?” he asked, already feeling the blush rising to his cheeks already, just as Brian’s words.

Brian stared him down, moving to rest his hands on his still bare hips. “Just trust me on this, okay? Do this one thing for me and if I’m wrong I won’t ask for anything again.”

Pat had no idea what Brian was going on about, could only imagine what rumors would spread if someone walked past the room with a wall of glass and saw two grown Polygon employees standing around with their shirts off. But. Well, it had always been hard to turn down the kid when he asked something of Pat directly, and there was still something about his eyes that made Pat…

Well, he started to unbutton his shirt. Brian stood opposite him, staring at him intently. It was a little terrifying, a little intense, way too hot for anything involving a workplace setting and Brian telling him about his new soulmate. Pat tried to shove that part of himself and this experience as far down as it would go.

When he finally finished pulling the flannel off, he looked at Brian and raised an eyebrow. Brian didn’t waste a second before reaching out and physically turning Pat around himself. Pat knew that his blush was bad enough even his chest was flushed, and feeling Brian’s hands on his bare skin didn’t make it any better. “Brian, what the fuck are you—“ he started, but he was cut off.

“I knew it!” Brian shouted, actually shouted, before punching the air. There was a brief moments where Pat felt warm fingertips pressed to a spot on the small of his back, and then Brian was manhandling him again. This time, before Pat could get any words out, questioning what exactly was going on, Brian had pulled him into a kiss.

Pat hadn’t been kissed in. Wow, it had been a really long time. He immediately melted into it, bringing a hand up to rest on Brian’s neck as the younger man pressed into him harder. It wasn’t until Pat backed into onto of the chairs, the chair that still had Brian’s sweater hanging off it, that he realized what was happening. 

He broke away, shoving Brian back gently. “You have to explain, Brian,” Pat said, his voice coming out almost pleading. “You can’t just—you know this isn’t a good idea.”

Brian was beaming at him, cheeks red as Pat’s but nothing else about him indicating any embarrassment or shame. “No, Pat, it’s a great idea. The best idea actually. You’ve got a mark. We’ve got matching soul marks.”

Pat stared at Brian for what had to be a full thirty seconds, eyes wide behind his glasses. “What?” he asked, finally. There was no way that was possible. Pat didn’t have a soulmate. He didn’t have a soul mark. You were supposed to feel them when you got them, warm and fuzzy and…well, actually, not that different than how Pat normally felt when Brian’s hand was touching him, was resting on his back like it belonged there.

“I’ll take a picture of it for you if you don’t believe me,” Brian said, grinning even wider than before. “But you should believe me. After all, we’re soulmates.”

Pat was lost to the world as he tried to wrap his head around what Brian was saying. Brian had gotten a second chance, a second soul mark, a second soulmate. And the universe had decided that whatever he and Brian had, it was good enough. It was perfect.

This time, it was Pat who threw himself at Brian for a kiss. Brian laughed into the kiss, wrapping arms around his waist. Pat didn’t think anything in the world could ruin that moment.

Well, at least until there was a very distinct knock on the door, and Pat could pull away long enough to look over and see a bright red Clayton and a laughing Simone blatantly staring at them through the glass.

God, they were going to have to go deal with HR. There were going to be forms to fill out and people to talk to and...God. 

Brian didn’t seem to care about any of that though. He happily flipped off their friends, nuzzling into Pat’s chest for a moment before pulling away to start wrangling himself back into his sweater. Pat immediately felt cold, but took the hint to get his clothes back on as well. 

The minute the last button was done, Brian was grabbing his hand. “I always knew there was something special about you, Pat Gill,” he said, earnest and warm, before leaning in for one last kiss. “Your place, after work? We’ll talk.”

Pat nodded absently as he was still a bit dazed by everything that had gone down in the last...God, had it really only been twenty minutes? Brian pressed fingertips to Pat’s blazing cheeks for a split second before sliding out the door. Pat watched as Simone cupped Brian’s cheeks and crowed something to him, watched as Clayton slowly started to smile.

Pat checked his phone and quickly, while no one was focused on him, made an alarm. Only three more hours until he was off the clock. Pat had a feeling it was going to fly by.


End file.
